clothing, housekeeping

A Little Lesson in Laundry

Have you done your laundry this week? As I was doing mine, I thought that I’d collect some of the most valuable tips I have learned and share them with you. Sadly, most people don’t see laundry as a skill. In treating it as a simple chore, many housewives have missed the finer points, of which here are but a few.

1. Don’t keep reminding family members to clean out their pockets. Do it yourself! It provides the housewife with a Source of Income, including the highly valuable Garage Sale Quarters. Keep an inconspicuous jar or piggy bank in the laundry room to collect your earnings. I scored with $.97 in one pant’s pocket alone this week.

2. Oh, what a tangled web we weave when we send a couple of loose pairs of pantyhose through the wash cycle. Add a bra or two and you have the makings for a family puzzle night.

The Meticulous Housewife hanging out laundry. Note the absence of undies on the line.
3. Speaking of undergarments, be strategic about hanging them on the line. Yes, you may have gotten fabulous clearance deals on underwear following the most recent holiday. But remember, your neighbor won’t be able to look at you in the eye when you see him around town. He’ll be wondering if you’re wearing the St. Patrick’s Day underwear with “Lucky” splashed across the backside or perhaps those Christmas wonders with candy canes that say “fa la la la la” all over. Or maybe the cheapie panties you love that sag in the backside or have lost any sense of elasticity. We all give our neighbors reasons to question our sanity, but let’s not encourage the rumor mill to run any faster.

4. And for yet another thought on this same topic… When tossing underwear into the washer, make sure one leg is not caught over the center agitator. Those panties will never fit you the same again. Unless of course, you have a disorder in which one thigh is 8 times the size of the other, in which case finding underwear is just one of your many problems.  Note: This sage advice is not simply a theory.

Now, housewives, armed with this newly-discovered wealth of knowledge–let’s get to that laundry with renewed vigor!!

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  1. Debby in Kansas USA says:

    My favorite clothesline was along a highway somewhere between Kansas and Minneapolis. 5 giant pairs of colorful bloomers were blowing in the wind for all to see!! I couldn’t get to my phone in time to get a picture but it sure gave us a good chuckle!! Love the idea!

    My friend in Wisconsin had a busy body neighbor that was always telling her how she should do things in her yard like which plants, flowers, and how she should get new hanging planters because the white plastic “looks so cheap.”. So, my friend covered the cheap white plastic planters with giant cupped bras stuffed with plastic bags lol!!! The neighbor never bothered her again, but other people drove by and took pictures!! They looked hilarious.

    1. Amalia says:

      It would almost be worth keeping some bloomers on hand just to get people speculating, wouldn’t it?
      The friend with the giant bra sounds hilarious! That makes me laugh!

  2. Thanks for the chuckle! I couldn’t help but think of my grandmother who always hung the underwear between the other clothes! Funny thing, she lived in the country where no once could see her unders!

    1. Amalia says:

      I grew up in the county and hung up laundry willy nilly and did the same when I got married and moved to town, until my husband requested I hang his underwear on the inside lines. It didn’t occur to me to be self conscious about it. (Now maybe the neighbors have decided he must no longer wear underwear???) lol

  3. Dixie Lane says:

    My underwear problem happens once it’s clean and in the basket and the toddler finds it. I will say, you can really tell who you true friends are by how they react when they knock on the door and are greeted by a toddler wearing Mom’s underpants on her head or, second best, as a necklace.

    1. Amalia says:

      Is a child properly developed if they haven’t worn their parent’s underwear on their head?? I think there’s a special force that draws children to adult underwear!

  4. I just found your blog and am enjoying your posts immensely. This one gave me a chuckle and I had to let you know.

    1. Amalia says:

      Thanks Lynn! 🙂 Glad you enjoyed it!

  5. Thanks. I consider blogging, both posting and commenting, to be a creative outlet.

    1. Amalia says:

      And you do them both well!

  6. So funny! I am fortunate in living in the country, so I can hang out my undies with no fear of the neighbors catching a glimpse of *ahem* less than stellar looking garments. When I read about the panties over the agitator–I fell out of my chair laughing. Been there, done that, and wore them anyway, because I am too cheap to buy new ones!

    1. Amalia says:

      How fortunate to live in the country! 🙂 I didn’t include in my post the time my underwear (not clipped tightly to the line) blew into the neighbor’s yard. My neighbor retrieved it and Brought It Back. I could have died; I would rather he had just tossed it!

  7. Sheree says:

    I laughed so hard while reading this!! I though I might have to launder my undergarments from laughing so much! 🙂

    1. Laurie Aaron Hird says:

      I love this post, too! I hope that is okay to say? Amalia wrote it, not me! 🙂

  8. This little post was so funny. If anyone can see my knickers they are using binoculars….

    1. Amalia says:

      Glad it made you smile. I once had a neighbor who would sit on his front porch with a pair of binoculars–I was never sure what he hoped to see in our sleepy neighborhood!

      1. I think every neighborhood has that one neighbor who either has binoculars, or my favorite–the twitching curtain.

        1. Amalia says:

          “Twitching curtain”–LOL! You are SO right!

          1. When I was in high school there was a ‘twitchy’ woman across the street. My mom would go out of her way to do weird things, just to see how much twitching she could get out of the woman. One day the woman actually came outside of her house and WATCHED us!

          2. Amalia says:

            Haha! That’s hilarious. If the neighbor is going to watch, you might as well give her a show! Your mom sounds like fun. (By the way, we really enjoy your comments!)

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